There are a lot of things that I am really good at. In fact, as a part of my Yoga Teacher Training, one day I had to list 50 things that I do well (it’s a good exercise; try it sometime!).  As many of you know, among possessing useful skills such as organization, planning, etc, I am good at being an extremist, playing April Fools’ Day pranks, annoying Scott, and the list goes on.  There is, however, one thing that I’m really good at that I failed to include in my original list of 50 things.  And that is my ability to incubate babies.  I must have the most cozy uterus on earth.  How many women see 40 weeks gestation or greater and make their due dates on not only baby number one, but also the second AND the third? How many surpass them a week? How many surpass them by almost two weeks?! I’m too exhausted from incubating this baby to do any actual research on this, but I’m going to guess that there aren’t boatloads of us, that’s for sure.

I had several potential dates ranging all the way from a week ago last Wednesday until today, which is what we are considering my real due date to be. And this morning I woke up and guess what! There’s still a giant baby in my belly! I haven’t given an update in a while, so here it goes.

Biologically speaking, my body is displaying all of the exact same qualities as it has in my previous two pregnancies. Sometime around 36/37 weeks it dilates and effaces slightly, acknowledging that yes, in fact, there is a small human being in there that actually will come out to join the fam in the near future. I then proceed to be excited. However, at the next 5-7 or so weekly  appointments, my body shows ZERO signs of progress.  It just stalls out. I think I’ve taken this news the best this third time, only because it just doesn’t shock or surprise me anymore (and it’s only my due date today – that could be a different story in another 9 days when I have lost my mind, who knows).  Also, I’ve been way too busy dealing with other fun chaos pertaining to my toddlers.

So, 3 weeks ago, Rex and I both got a stomach bug lasting about a week. Good times. Just what you want to happen to your 1 year old and yourself when you’re 9 months pregnant.  I lucked out and had it much less severe than him though (and also luckily my mom was here and could watch him since he couldn’t go to school or daycare). Then as soon as my Yoga Teacher Training ended, Landri got it, and she got it BAD. Like really bad. Conservatively, we are talking multi-half-hourly liquid butt bombs.  The silver lining? She did 98% of them on the adult potty. I put zero effort into potty training and yet she seems to really be excelling at this skill on her own.  But I’m not going to lie, sitting with her (yes, she DEMANDS you keep her company) while she blows up the bathroom, again, 9 months pregnant is not one of my favorite activities.  The best part is that Rex either tries to climb into the toilet that she’s on (have I ever mentioned how wild he is?) or if we lock him out, he violently pounds on the door screaming bloody murder until the stinky party emerges from the bathroom.  The bomb dropping process is generally a very slow one, so it’s a long game of playing Rex toilet defense, or a long time to listen to him tantrum outside the door.  And as I sat there, I couldn’t help but think about the newborn cries that would soon be joining our orchestra!  Holy moly what were we thinking?!  Anyhow, while pottying, Landri also insists that you listen to her biology, “SHHHH!!!!!” she demands as she tries to go.  Eww.  Anyhow, I shouldn’t complain; this bug hit the night of YTT graduation so it didn’t mess up things for me with that.  It was a very long week though…being housebound with two toddlers for that long is really tough…and it seemed even longer because part way through the week, Rex woke up early from his nap one day with a fever and spewed vomit all over me. Really?!  He developed some sort of viral full body rash too. Of course all of this was happening during the first week of summer camp that I paid for too.

Oh! I forgot to mention the part, where at 38 weeks pregnant I smoked a deer going 60 mph on my way to one of those OB appointments where I learn for the billionth time that my uterus is the Ritz according to my babies.  Also that day I was diagnosed with a double eye infection and had to get $88 dollar steroid eye drops.  A few things to note about the deer incident though: 1) I’m surprised that’s the first time I’ve hit one considering where we live, 2) the suburban took the impact like a champ – it felt like hitting a mosquito, I swear, and 3) I love our Allstate insurance – again, they exceeded my expectations and handled the entire claim very well. It was a lot though, to file the claim, get the damage appraised (it was significant), get the check from Allstate, and take the car to the body shop, all being super preggers and with the kids by myself, but somehow I managed to do all of that in one day (it was an 8 hour day on the road driving all over town; the kids really stepped up and did a good job rolling with the punches).

And then one last little bit of “excitement” as if the last few weeks haven’t had enough. Yesterday Landri developed a red rash on her cheeks which then blistered really bad. Like actual, big blisters.  Apparently it is an allergic reaction to something (ie not contagious), but we don’t know what caused it. It looks really painful and seems to be getting much worse before it gets better despite the prescription steroid cream we’ve been applying. Poor girl. I’m praying that she doesn’t pick at it and scar up her face. Last night she cried herself to sleep saying, “Owie, Owie, Owie.” It was so heartbreaking.

So yeah, wow. It’s been chaos for sure.  Although I don’t look forward to the actual delivery, I am looking forward to the time immediately following, where I get to stay in the hotel- I mean, hospital- alone with my husband and beautiful new little baby, and get to watch adult TV (not cartoons) in peace and quiet. There, I will have food delivered to me and people will wait on me and I won’t be responsible for two toddlers! I can love on my baby and just enjoy him with Scott! It seriously will be such a nice little vacation to cap off this pregnancy, and I cannot wait!!! I just hope it’s not another 12-13 days from now!!!

In all seriousness, I’ve spent the last few weeks whining and complaining to my friends and family (and the Internet in this blog post!) about all of this, and I really need to put it all in perspective. While it has been rough to say the least, in light of everything around us lately in the news, if this is the worst that happens to me, then I am so very, very blessed. We are all alive and healthy, every one of us, even the stubborn unborn littlest Lehnhoff, and we even still have our home, cars and all of our belongings. At the end of the day, I am grateful for all of that and have to keep reminding myself to just smile, laugh, and go with the flow!

So…what do you think? How much longer will we be waiting?