Ever since I quit my job over a year ago, from time to time I get asked what it’s like to be a stay at home mom.  And for me, it really is awesome.  I love it, I really, really do.  I could write a huge post about what I love about staying home, but let’s be honest, that wouldn’t be as fun to read as hearing about the less than ideal moments that go along with spending every waking second with two little humans, LOL!  So let me share a couple of today’s “highlights” as I sit down with my nightly glass(es) of wine.

So Rex apparently is taking a little longer than normal to adjust to life outside the womb (no shocker there since we basically had to evict him two weeks past due).  What I mean by this is that he prefers to be held.  No matter when or where.  Awake, asleep, it doesn’t matter.  He prefers to be held versus swinging/laying in his bassinette/bouncer seat/etc.  And I’m a total sucker for him and let him sleep in bed with me – I know, I know, I know, so bad, I know.  I’m working on it.  Anyhow, last night he spent the second half of the night snuggled in bed next to me.  And this morning we woke up to find him laying in a huge pool of his own pee, and soaked through his pj’s.  OF COURSE I had just put clean sheets on the bed the day before.  Go figure.

Fast forward to the afternoon. I decided to take the kiddos on a walk in the Double Bob and only one mile in, Rex completely flips out because – guess why – that’s right, he wants to be held. Having anticipated this, I had packed the Bjorn baby carrier in the stroller and was able to appease my little Momma’s-Boy-in-the-making by strapping him tightly to my chest. Upon completing our walk, we stop by our neighbors to chit chat and I notice that his pant legs are all wet to which I complained about how that already happened once today – and that he had soaked our bed. We eventually wandered back home and I unpacked him just to realize… no, that was not pee soaking his pant legs. That was in fact poop juice. My baby pooped his runny mustard yellow baby diarrhea on me while strapped to my chest. Go figure.

And fast forward to early evening. I was sitting on the family room floor feeding Rex a bottle while Landri was running around like a crazy little maniac. She kept running back and forth between me and Rex’s swing (out of my direct line of sight). Suddenly she comes flying around the corner at super warp Landri speed and runs up to me and swipes her little open-palmed hand on my leg. I look down to see some brown stuff all over my leg and on her hands. Yes. Landri had pooped her diaper and apparently stuck her little hands down there, scooping it out to come wipe on my leg. And so I had to set Rex down on the floor (yes, that really pissed him off) and consequently stop feeding Rex his bottle (which also really pissed him off), to go take Landri to the sink to wash the poop off her hands and change her diaper. Go figure.

So, yes, I started the day with one kid wetting my bed and then pooping on my chest, and finished the day with the other one purposefully smearing her poop on my leg. And that my friends, would be just ONE small story from a day in the life of a stay at home mom. And that’s what makes my box of Franzia taste so damn good right now!  Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!  How awesome would it be if Landri smeared her poop on Daddy, LOL!?!!!  I would seriously pay a thousand dollars to see that!  No joke.  A thousand dollars!